eloquence or excitement

I come to my blog today with neither anything of great eloquence or excitement of my own. I have a hard time sometimes wanting to write on my blog just because I feel like I don’t have anything splashing to say…nothing that I can throw in the lake and watch the ripples or marvel over it’s spatter of water it gives when I do my re-read. Today, I have to say I have been marveling over God’s word. Sometimes I feel like I’m reading at two different levels…not only does it speak to my intellect, but also to my heart.

I’m reading another book called God Girl by Hayley DiMarco. I picked it up because a friend of mine and I want to start a ministry for young girls-that middle school range. It was a great place to start, a fantastic book that I wish I read way back when… but in all honesty, I’m learning a lot right now… and I’m nearing my 30’s. Some of the topics hit like a pang on the heart, knowing that I have far to go in some areas in my life. It isn’t anything new, however, I’ve known myself for quite sometime. 🙂 Here is a small excerpt, a list of ways that you disagree with God…and that my friend, is a sin.

-doubt

-fear

-worry

-hate

-fight back

-lust

-lose control

-get impatient

-hold a grudge

-get revenge

-resent

-are mean

-get depressed

-hurt yourself

-hurt others

-obsess over something

-over indulge

-refuse to help

Feel a little convicted? Well, I did after this list and a lot of reading in the book. Something that I’ve held onto through the book has been the phrase, Let go. I think so many times I have a hard time just letting things go, I want to let whoever it is know that I’m hurt (cuz what if they didn’t know!?) or I want to be able to stand up for myself or making things “right”, etc. and so forth. This book had re-iterated time and again (felt like pounding at my heart with a hammer)–LET GO. It’s not mine to do. Here’s another excerpt:

A girl is a GOD GIRL when…

she stops whining and blaming and starts to look for the hidden justice of God. And as she starts to focus her thoughts on that justice of God, she stops blaming other people for her problems and heartache and builds up her holy nature. She stops fighting her circumstances and instead looks at them as tools in the hand of God to move her closer to him and to give  her the strength that is part of being a God Girl.

After some time in prayer, some time in my bible and reading about what it means to be a God Girl, I found myself in a state of peace. I know and can very easily think of a few places (ok a lot of places) I’ve messed up, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get to start again. Sometimes I need a little kick in the butt to get back in the race. Trying my all to be the change I want to see in the world–to be a God Girl myself.

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