musings.

I went to a Tegan & Sara show last night at The National with Matt. Upon parking, I had to warn Matt that we’d be seeing a certain demographic as we entered the show. I knew that Tegan and Sara have been advocates for gay marriage and I knew their following in general supported it, too. So, indeed, there were a lot of woman au woman and men au men couples in the crowd. I didn’t know that T & S were lesbians. I also didn’t know that they had a new album out in the last month or so. While some might feel like they were left behind, that almost makes me feel good…. I mean, I don’t want to be a fan-atic, I don’t want to in any way put a musician on some sort of pedestal–someone who listens to the lyrics and cries out because someone finally “gets” me. I like the music–I like it A LOT– but I have not succumbed to memorizing every single lyric (ok, but I do know quite a few songs by heart) Only a holy God belongs in my heart quite that way. Maybe I could memorize bible scripture to the tune of T&S songs? hahahaha πŸ˜‰

A few other thoughts passed my mind. As I looked down at my over 21 bracelet, I realized that I have been over 21 for a looong time. A lot of me still feels like I am not that much older than 21. It’s been 7 years. dude.

Beer. I scream, you scream, we all scream for….. Beer? Ok, I didn’t scream for beer, it’s nasty and I’m trying NOT to make myself fatter, thankyouverymuch. I find that people dance a lot more once they’ve had a few. I also find that straight men who are clearly there because their girlfriends love T&S drink 10x more than the average cup holder. I think they are attempting at making due with music far out of their taste. huh total side thought: What do jock men listen to these days? There is something about feeling left out because I never held one of those cups, but for 6 bucks, I’ll dance around sans a gut rot.

You know that you’re not as young when you really wish they had chairs instead of general admission. Matt and I laughed at the thought of me asking if I could get a folding chair. My stay at home mom-ness has taken a toll people. Maybe when people are drinking the beers it is to forget that their feet hurt?

There is clearly a no smoking policy in The National, but I could smell it when someone would light up. I would enforce the rule by having a sniper take out that person (you can see the glow of the cigarette). They didn’t mind trying to kill me and obviously they didn’t really care that they were killing themselves anyway, right? When Snoop Dog is there this next week, I’m pretty sure the whole thing is a big cloud. Sniper will have a night off that night.

I have not been to a show in a little over a year. A YEAR. woah.

I mused about the fact that a concert is a lot like a worship service at a church…. from when I started going to concerts til now I have noticed that concert-goers have this new trend… when they know a song they really belt out the lyrics. People so badly want to worship something, I watched the emotions of the people standing around us, taking note of NOT looking at the women making out behind us. Fist pumping, head shaking, dancing, closing their eyes and taking it in–screaming “We LOVE you TEGAN & SARA!” I kept feeling like I would hear something about God in there, but it never came. lol I start to feel foreign in a world that I have always felt a part of. The music resonates with people, that someone finally penned lyrics that made them feel understood, that their ended relationship felt that way, that they could receive healing from expressing with music..they lay at the feet of music, their worries, fears, angst…dancing and swaying, bopping and well, quenching the beer thirst. I’m no longer fooled by it all. No matter how many times I was certain that Dashboard Confessional brought me solace, that they wrote all about how I felt on love and life–true healing would never be found without the true Healer. I can’t lay down to die those things, the best we can do is just try to forget. I’m really starting to see the purpose of that beer! j/k πŸ™‚ Moving on and not looking back can be a temporary fix, but it’s an amount of building your house on a fault line or better yet a pile of sludge. My past is a lot like sludge, I think that’s fitting. Even a Tegan and Sara song exemplifies the past haunting us and following… their advice is just to try to tell it to go away.

No matter which way you go
No matter which way you stay
You’re out of my mind, out of my mind
Out of my mind, out of my mind

I was walking with a ghost
I said please, please don’t insist
I was walking with a ghost
I said please, please don’t insist

No matter which way you go
No matter which way you stay
You’re out of my mind, out of my mind
Out of my mind, out of my mind

I was walking with a ghost
I said please, please don’t insist
I was walking with a ghost
I said please, please don’t insist

No matter which way you go
No matter which way you stay
You’re out of my mind, out of my mind
Out of my mind, out of my mind

I was walking with a ghost
I was walking with a ghost

Out of my mind, out of my mind
(I said please)
Out of my mind, out of my mind
(I said please)

You’re out of my mind, out of my mind
Out of my mind, out of my mind
Out of my mind, out of my mind
Out of my mind, out of my mind

I was walking with a ghost
I was walking with a ghost
I was walking with a ghost
I was walking with a ghost
I was walking with a ghost
I was walking with a ghost

All in all, I could see that people want badly to worship. They want to sing with the music, which honestly, annoys me. I didn’t come to hear the 10 people around me sing really badly. Nevertheless, as my ears are still ringing today, I had a really good time! I definitely want to go to more shows! God can use music, christian or secular to get us to ask some questions, to get us to think, even to communicate with us. I’m pretty sure God likes it when we rock out, too. It’s just plain fun. πŸ™‚

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