Lately.

September is working it’s way into October and it doesn’t seem to want to slow down. The boys have been in school for 3 weeks and are doing very well. They need haircuts. We’ve been busy. That is sort of an understatement.

Adrianna is a different girl without her brothers here. I find that she is less ridiculous and more…. just curious (without the crazy attached). She is very imaginative and often sings and makes up stories. I think in the thick of things, with the boys home, she tries to be more like them so she can play along. Instead, it sort of makes her crazy because she isn’t 5 or 6. She can physically do a lot of things and keep up running, but cognitively, she is a follower and quite the dare devil.

I started to watch an 8 week old baby during the day. She’s a delightful baby, who smiles a ton, eats like a champ, and sleeps hard enough to not wake up during a playdate with another 2 year old and 9 month old here. Even though she isn’t a lot of work to take care of, I find myself absolutely out of energy at the end of the day. Matt and I need a date night pretty badly about now. It’s been long enough that I can’t remember the last date we were out on.

I am in a study called Here and Now by Beth Moore at church. It’s about Revelation. I’m fascinated by it and can’t wait to understand it more. I keep asking God to give me a word with it! Show me something. Open my mind further. I am also co-leading a study with my friend, Holly. It makes me chuckle to admit that, yes, it’s another Beth Moore study. We are going through the book So Long Insecurity. It’s been awesome to meet with such amazing women weekly. They are a huge source of encouragement to my life. I hope they all feel the same way. GEMS (Godly Encouragement for Mothers) started up this week, too. I once said that Matt and I felt like we were on an island. I can’t imagine if I still lived on that island, with no real connections to people. I sometimes feel like I am cut down the middle, 50% introvert 50% extrovert. Sometimes I almost crave being alone. (3 kids can drive me to that place, haha) Anyway, in all these places I learn, I connect, and I most definitely wonder. Friendship is a magnificent gift.

A friend of mine’s mother died this week. It’s a bittersweet thing. When someone is in pain, you want to take it away. It’s hard to come to grips with… that ending the pain might take saying goodbye. It’s opened my heart up to feeling that sense of urgency for lost souls. It’s made me think about how fragile our lives really are and how often I take life for granted.

I got upset the other day. Over things I would never have thought I’d get upset about. I’m not mad at people, I’m mad that I can’t make them see or feel what I do. I get upset that they sell themselves and others hell. I hang my head in disgust over all the arguments that I’ve had opposing God, opposing religion. How many people did I sell to hell? I can’t lay in shame over it, but it gets me fired up and I ache over them. I am jealous for them to feel what true Redemption feels like.

Anyway.

I still work at All Fired Up. I love the artistic outlet that it is for people. Art offers to it’s partakers a journey and process. It creates an atmosphere of open streaming thoughts. It’s a challenge to balance time away from home. I think that may be it’s only downfall. I’ve said it before… I think I am allergic to work. Before I leave, I feel a protest. As soon as I’m there, working, I’m happy as can be. Maybe my psyche still thinks I’m headed to a call center. I never felt so chained as when I worked at a call center for directory assistance.

Somewhere in the midst of all this I am still attempting to exercise. No real results yet, but I have been working on it. It feels good when I know that I have been practicing obedience, at least to an extent. I need some videos to do at home. The wii fit is fun, but I need something with more cardio in it.

So, there you have it. Adri is in need of a nap and I am in dire need of a shower.

Just an update on what I’ve been up to.

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One thought on “Lately.

  1. hey! I just HAD to comment about something on here, about work. How you feel a protest before going. I think many people feel that way. I know I do. But like you once there I am happy as a lark. I LOVE where we work. The atmosphere is so wonderful. I have written in my private journals that in my previous job I felt like an abused animal. I was beaten down repeatedly emotionally and spiritually that it has taken me a long time to recover and to TRUST that a place of work (and the people there) can be healthy, fun, and welcoming. AFU has given me a comfort that I never knew possible in a work place. But like you, my psyche sometimes gets in the way and the idea of “work” scares me. It’s amazing how one bad experience can overshadow even the good. I think AFU though is healing me though. I am blessed to be there, and to have met you and Amy and the others!

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